No, this isn’t a tell all. But it is an admission.
For the last week, I have been keeping something under wraps, with a very limited number of people knowing about it. I didn’t tell any family until this afternoon.
As of Monday last week, I have been officially unemployed.
I’ll write more on my thoughts as to why it happened later. That’s not what this post is about. This post is about why I kept it under wraps for a week, and why I’m copping to it now.
It’s a little strange. I didn’t expect to lose my job, but it didn’t surprise me either. What did surprise me was that it didn’t really stress me out. I was very matter of fact about it. I came home, immediately jumped on the EDD site and started the process of applying for unemployment insurance. I checked the finances and figured out that while we wouldn’t be rolling in cash, we wouldn’t lose our apartment either. It’s going to be tight, but we can do it.
We. That was the next thing I needed to deal with. Last year, when things got very dire, we lost our apartment and had to move in with friends. This was a very hard time for both of us, over the holidays and living in a place that wasn’t our own. And it was no easier on our friends. But the worst thing was that my daughter learned what it’s like to be homeless, to have to rely on others. Since then she has been worried about what would happen if I lost my job. Would we lose our home again? A couple of times I had to pick her up from school for behavior and she got the message that this could cost me my job if it continued. Needless to say, the idea scares her and makes for very difficult days. So I chose not to tell anyone to ensure that there was no way she would find out before I told her.
This wasn’t about not trusting. But people slip .I had to make sure it didn’t happen.
We. That was the next thing I needed to deal with.
She has been attending summer school, and the last day is tomorrow. She has been doing great there, and to keep her on that path, I chose not to tell her. She’ll find out tomorrow when I pick her up from school. I figure the chances of her finding out before then are pretty darn close to zero. She’s still going to be freaked out, but I’ll have the time and the environment to get her calmed down, and we’ll develop a new routine.
The last week has been interesting, keeping up the ruse that I was going to work. I got up at the same time, went through the same routine – even getting dressed for “work” – and walking her to the bus stop. Once she was aboard, I’d wave goodbye and walk back to the apartment. Then I’d head in, and start the job search. In the afternoon, I let her grand mother pick her up, and would wait to go get her until it was about the time I’d get there from “work”.
Tomorrow, that will change. The good side is that we’ll have more time together. The caveat there is she will have to understand that I am still “working”, even if that “work” is looking for a new job. So she;ll have to understand that dad isn’t available all day. And she’ll still go to her grandmother’s in the afternoons, giving me a break and an opportunity to schedule interviews, etc.
Tomorrow, that will change. The good side is that we’ll have more time together.
But on my “lunches” we can go to a park, sit in the sun, or let her play while I make phone calls or fill out paperwork. She’ll know I’m right there, and it’ll be nice to get out. In the meantime, I’ll be looking for something that uses my skills, pays my bills, but most importantly, makes me happy. I wasn’t unhappy at this last job, but I wasn’t excited to go into work. I have a little time, and I intend to use it wisely to find the right fit. So I search each day…
I’ll also be a bit more prolific in my “side jobs”. I’m working on two screenplays (an action/adventure and a weekly ensemble pilot), a humor book “The Real Man’s Guide to Surviving a Zombie Apocalypse Relationships”, a photobook for charity purposes, my photography work, a non-profit start-up, two websites and my weekly Edited For Clarity webcast. So, it’s not like I’ll be bored.
So, my apologies for not being totally up front about it my friends. I do hope you’ll understand. And if you need some side work done – give me a shout!
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