Some Mornings Just Don’t Work Right

My daughter turned nine at the beginning of the month. With that, there were some minor changes in routine to give her a little more “big girl” freedom and responsibilities. Like a later bedtime (9pm). And for the most part, she has earned additional privileges, being helpful around the house and really improving her manners.

On most mornings, I get up, make sure she’s up, make breakfast, and generally ride herd to make sure we’re out the door on time. Today, I thought I’d let her manage her routine and see if she stepped up to the task.

Let’s just say the morning was not smooth.

I got up at my usual time and she decided she would have cereal for breakfast. “Cool”, I thought, “She can make that herself”. So I set off to do some early morning reading of news and emails. Normally, the breakfast routine starts at about 7am, and we’re done with breakfast by about 730. That’s the time when the first alarm goes off on my phone to remind us we need to get moving. The second alarm goes off at 740, and a third at 750. If we haven’t left by the third alarm, we’re likely to be late.

So when the first alarm went off, I went to check on her. Except she wasn’t in the kitchen. She was in her room looking for a DVD to take to school. I asked if she had made her lunch – that’s her responsibility in the morning. She hadn’t. She didn’t have socks or shoes on either. When I asked her why those things were done, she said she promised to take the DVD in. I explained we can’t get out the door until she gets the other things done, to which I got a little bit of attitude back.

But I gave her a chance to recover. I told her to make her lunch, put on her socks and shoes, and if there was time she could look for the DVD.

She went to the kitchen. The second alarm went off and I went to check on her. She was playing with my calculator in the kitchen. Still wasn’t done putting together her lunch, still no socks and shoes. And now she wanted to call me a nag. That lost her the computer for the weekend.

We ended up not leaving until after the third alarm, with no DVD, and at school five minutes late. I hate being late. And I can’t rush things anymore. I could feel the stress boiling up, so I just took deep breaths and tries to calmly explain why this was unacceptable.

Most mornings, we get out in plenty of time because I manage the routine. Today, I thought I’d let her try. And in the grand scheme of things, being five minutes late once is not a big deal. But I can’t seem to instill in my daughter the idea that being late is disrespectful. And she has difficulty managing priorities. Which is probably pretty typical for a nine-year-old. I know adults that can’t manage them.

Some mornings just don’t work right. Today was one of those.

How does your morning routine go? Do your kids self-manage? Or are you the ringleader? Let me know in the comments!